if you get paid by the hr you can take as long as you want. "where have you been?" "sorry sir i was washing my anus... thoroughly" "very well."

laaaaadies one at a time please

me at an office supply store asking for a quiet portable typewriter (mine makes mad noise and i had a baby so... yeah) girl looks at me dead serious and asks "a laptop?"

Theres an episode of southpark that backs this up

the feels :'(

I dont think those white ones should be saying that word...

It'd be more american if he was eating or drinking something in each clip... someone make this happen please

I've yet to see one in our generations household... we either arent buying these cookies or arent sowing. Get to it ppl so we can piss off our children

"another smaller purse"... wallet, the word youre looking for is wallet

holy shit this is so accurate

Someone thought this during the nba all star dunk contest... thats why they get so many tries

I can't... the feels, too many

Australia* man...

i dont have any of these friends... or a cat... or friends

must do all of them

kevin garnett school pic

genius!

This should happen to gas prices

Looks like Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett