Making a toastie in a toastie maker without losing any cheese

No you won't. This was a statistic made up by a US college student as a bet that a completely made up 'fact' could become common knowledge. Spiders are not suicidal enough to crawl into your mouth and die. Would you crawl into a blue whale's mouth because it was warm?

I'm jealous, if I had a robot leg I'd show it of everywhere. Looks uber cool btw

Or you ladies can ask one of us guys, we'd be very glad to help

I thought right, but I'm in England.....

Cooking like *an asian

This is an insult to gay people everywhere

And we all appreciate their straightforwardness.

It's so stupid is has to be fake

Many of these are very true. I spoke to an American woman on the phone at my work's head office. Asked her how she was, and spent 20 minutes listening to her complain about her neighbour, instead of the proper English: 'fine thanks, you?' I was far to English to interrupt and tell her to process my order.....

The problem is that the preachy vegans make most vegans look bad, I'm a carnivore through and through. But I have vegan friends who don't get all Dickish about it. They just hit me when I try and force feed them ham.

I wish I could have Neil Patrick Harris and I pretty much only sleep with women

Sounds like a nice day