Took me far too long to realize this is not a play truck.

You're happy to come home to a clean house... but at what cost?

You just need to find people who like your brand of weirdness.

Then you need to take the dog, I'm sorry, bed, to the vet.

The light pollution where I live is just garbage, (ha ha), but damm if the stars that do appear aren't gorgeous.

I'm a woman, and I agree.

Feets!

Slap some plate armor on them, and you get an armadillo.

Bonus points if the married man asks for more.

Yeah... it seems you can just ignore that... it's required for any product that has even only a few molecules, (literally), of the chemical(s).

At least provide a reasonable explanation for it.

Letting Little Debbie run rampant it seems. (Counterpoint: It is now possible to find Magic Spoon in the grocery store... still expensive as hell though.)

I get the joke, but that looks like a good gift for a teacher or something.
Probably should make the books out of wood though.

This is true.

At least she was willing to risk being wrong... Even though she didn't realize it.

Only knee? I've seen people so emo, it was coming out of their ears.

I swear my old Toyota truck spoiled me.

D'aww. I find animals who are one solid color to be a different kind of beautiful.

Who says the other forms of media don't?

I like your boss already.

So THAT'S what his entire face looks like!

"Aren't you supposed to do somethin'?"

....And now I'm sad.

Are you kidding? That's the best feeling, (outside the effects of weight loss on your actual body of course).

"Keep me alive for what?!" The anti-vaxxers shout.