Guess what will never happen?
Fucking Statists.

I like the not ads.

Nice

If you compliment China you'll get an A.

Andrew Schulz does this with comedy. It's hilarious.

Cena Sucks.

Good dog.

It's just upside-down. I've done it with clocks before.

It's why I wake uo with a boner.

Why am I crying?

Greatest Country ever in the history of the world.

Slaves were the best dressed in the South.

Awesome.

Phobia and Infest are great. Not metal, though.

Anthony Weiner is free.

It's a Nine-Banded Armadillo.

Woo-stah?

I'd actually read Harry Potter if it was like this.

I call my one pair of colored socks my "lucky pair."

No. You were right the first time. Keep talking about the cows.

She shaved her head because the court wanted a drug test.

We don't deserve him.

Which two counties? I'm going to guess North Korea is one.