Then the police called and said mom was in a serious accident.

Sounds like a plan to me.
Always wanted to see if I could vanish easily

Where the blazes is that??

That’s a neat idea.

https://www.crisistextline.org
Looks like USA only.

Where do I sign?

Woah. I want one.

One didn’t seem like a catcall. Some people are just nice and wonder why someone is sad. They were being polite. (My take anyway on that one)

Looks like me at night.

Ouch. I think a phone call would of been better.

I announce "I'm doing laundry" and my cats just look at me and go back to sleep.

You noting me noticing your new notice has been dutifully noted.

And for those religious meals, you need some holy &$@!

The average girl, honestly. But that's me.

Cheers!

Amazing. Well thought out. Congrats btw.

I'd probably hurt myself.