Well I didn't comment at all!
...oh wait

What is your name?

Being a douche get's you laid but not married. At least not happily

Cook more then?

Thank you! This right here. Just wait for the next big one.

It'll reach you first because the problem came from down below

Books I read as a youngun mentioned such things. Now though?

I read it

Steve made this post is how

Someone slashed my tires. Insurance didn't cover it. But hey I needed new tires anyways

An awful abomination that balls up between your teeth and has less flavor than cotton balls

Ooh where were they? My drill sergeant told me to copy him 100 of them!

I'm nearsighted but only recently realized it thanks to a handy trip to an optometrist. Before glasses? No way I could read that dinky poorly lit sign

Really man? You had to go there? Just enjoy the fluffy pancakeness

I thought it was a dog

So sad but true

Not how it works

Actually Ashleigh is kind of... An older spelling?
Sorry about the Rhyan though