"No, judge, according to science, her vagina just felt the resistance of my penis."

If there are no normal stairs somewhere, I'm incapable of going up without freaking out. I absolutely hate elevators, and I'm afraid that on the up escalators I'll mistime my step and only half my foot will go on the thing before it goes up and then I'll fall backwards.

But the outernet is scary.

Bitch, I'm FABULOUS

To be fair, I would scream if I saw a straight person in my bathtub, too. Also a goat. Or a horse. Or even a dog. Basically anything except a cat, because I own a cat. But if he surprised me, I'd scream at my cat, too. Heck, even if there was an inanimate object in my bathtub, I might not scream, but I'd definitely stand there for a moment thinking "Dafaq?"

1. You do a crossword, you better expect to get ink all over your hand. Crossword puzzles don't judge or discriminate over someone's hand dominance.
2. Neither do pencil drawings. I like to draw, but I only usually have a pencil and some notebook paper around. My right hand gets fucked up sometimes. Depends on how much shading I do.

Definitely wasn't sorry. No regrets whatsoever.

Sometimes for no apparent reason netflix will stop me in the middle of an episode and ask me "Continue? Play from beginning? Back to browse?" and I think it's trying to tell me something.

Reminds me of that chapter in PJO Titan's Curse.

HERE IS MEIN HANDLE, HERE IS MEIN SPOUT

Okay, I'm Christian and red/pink can still go fuck him/herself. I just hate when people go sit in a science class and are just "bible bible bible bible" when scientists have put years of work into figuring shit out. My own religion teacher in sixth grade constantly told us, "The bible is not a science book, don't take it literally."

Took me a couple seconds to figure it out.

Okay, if you don't mind my asking, what are Kinders? I've lived in America my entire life and I don't have any relatives outside the country anymore. I just know what they're called from the internet, and from cookiejar's comment it looks like they're eggs with little toys inside?

Karma, bitch!

I can do better:
Westboro hates gays. I wonder why?

Honestly, I don't care.

Hey. At least she labelled yours.

And it's hard.

Merry Christmas (or kwanzaa or hanukkah or whatever you celebrate)!!

I actually have tasted my own blood (Like if I get a papercut I'll suck the blood off or this one time I cut my tongue.). I think it tastes pretty good.

One could be albino.