And then he did, except your destination was straight ahead, and now he's going left, and the meter's still running, and now this little joke of yours is going to double the price of your taxi ride. Hope it was worth it!

So is this a scene from the American Gods miniseries, or what?

Wait... isn't that saruman's staff, though? His advice comin from the Eye of Sauron, that's not good advice to follow.

snook.

I love these memes. Thank you for putting all these in one place.

Give that birb an ice cream cone. That birb needs an ice cream cone!

As a Texan I can confirm this. Driving from Dallas to Houston takes months if there's no traffic. Also the little Texas is Cowboy Craig's ranch and we have to be very quiet around him or he gets mad and sets his cows free and they rampage over the whole state.

And apparently then a bee stings you right on the lips.

Is this ClickHole? It sounds like ClickHole.

Actually, when they lose their powers Wonder Woman becomes Catholic and goes to work on Wall Street while Superman grows a hobo beard and starts hiking across America.

That's how I caught Yveltal in Y. That's also why I can't ever restart Y to play it again.

His dad needed a monkey translator to talk to his son. I still laugh when I think of it.

If I were Neil Gaiman or John Green I would raise money by auctioning off this very thing. Send in some photos of yourself, or some footage of you walking around, and get a couple hundred words of that author describing you.

Won't work so well at my local ice cream shop. They charge you for your ice cream by weight.

That is a very creative DM.

See, this isn't funny because no Muslim would name his child "Allah", because it would be blasphemous.

I'd have bought so many magic the gathering cards.

That cocoa is probably poisoned, and the next phase of the plan is giving it to the poor sap Beardy is givin the side-eye to.

Maps include fake towns to detect copyright infringement. Maybe the globe company did the same thing. It's not as though anyone uses a globe to navigate the world.