This would be a big long post I don’t feel like doing right now. There are some reasons a bit inherent to perception in how humans in general perceive beauty and then ALOT of cultural reasons involving the objectification and commoditization of women and the points of value often places on women and what is seen as attractive. So that segues to traditional gender roles- what is desirable or classically desirable in a female and what is desirable in a male.
Long story short, when it comes to general mass perception, the male body isn’t a huge draw in the modern world and things like status or the perception of your treatment towards women or general abilities and competence (or specific competencies…) are usually most important in male attractiveness.
When it comes to physical attractiveness though- having signs of wealth or good genes and youth generally are widely appreciated in men, a full set of healthy looking or aesthetically pleasing teeth (wealth and good genes and discipline/self care), a full head of hair, being well groomed, and generally physical fitness and musculature are appreciated. In general this falls under the traditional gender ideas of men being “bigger” and “stronger.” Of course being “lanky” can be appreciated by women who like more youthful perceptions of men or who associate that with intelligence or “dorkiness” and such- but these get back to psychological triggers of attractiveness.
There are what can be called near purely physical or instinctual attractions, but really a good deal of what we are attracted to is acquired. We condition ourselves and there is usually a psychological component involved- a perception of that person which arouses us or an “image.” If you think of a rapper or gangster or “tough guy” most people get certain image cues, facial hair, larger size or muscled, tattoos etc.
you can be tough clean shaven in a cardigan looking like a young Tony McGuire- but that isn’t the image most of us have so if tough turns you on- toby probably won’t do it at a glance.
Men created a system where men’s primary values were certain things and most of them weren’t physical. For much of history an impetus has largely been that women need to be practical in choosing a mate as they’d rely on or be under control of that man- but men through much of history have been much freer to choose mates on physical reasoning. In fact, through much of modern history a “fit” or “rough” man would almost always be of a class or order to make a poor Lee provider than a less fit man. There are exceptions and such- as I said- I don’t want to make this extremely longer than I already have.
Long story short, the “beauty standards” and options for men are narrower in most societies because male gender concepts preclude many options for diversity in males attractiveness. Most people will find a “feminine” male unattractive by default (save certain subsets..) so with so much considered “feminine” and so little “masculine” a man must fit a narrow scope if he seeks mass approval
Of a public seeking “traditional” gender ideas and dynamics.
Your two main options as a man are:
1. Change the social conception of gender by abandoning traditional ideas of masculinity and expressing yourself without concern to “normalcy” such as wearing makeup, wigs, flamboyant style choices, dresses and such…
2. Go lift weights and run or play basketball.
Of course that “men are bigger” gender role concept does mean that you are usually seen as more attractive as a man of you are taller, and there is nothing reasonable that can be done about that, but you can normalize things like men wearing high heels to give the impression of height and increase theoretical attractiveness at a glance to a mass public. As for your body type-
Kinda horseshit. I know women who like “Teddy bears” that are big and “fluffy” and who like “otter bods” and “dad bods,” stalky guys “built like Pitt bulls” and lanky guys, skinny guys, buff guys… and lots of women dislike one or more of those or have limits. To some woman (or man etc.) your body type is beautiful. And.. society as a whole isn’t trying to make you change or weighing your social value on it. As a man- no one really cares that much about your body type. Your appearance can help perceptions of you, but your odds of getting a job or not because you are pear shaped aren’t quite the same as for women. So that’s sort of important to think about too.
Long story short, when it comes to general mass perception, the male body isn’t a huge draw in the modern world and things like status or the perception of your treatment towards women or general abilities and competence (or specific competencies…) are usually most important in male attractiveness.
you can be tough clean shaven in a cardigan looking like a young Tony McGuire- but that isn’t the image most of us have so if tough turns you on- toby probably won’t do it at a glance.
Long story short, the “beauty standards” and options for men are narrower in most societies because male gender concepts preclude many options for diversity in males attractiveness. Most people will find a “feminine” male unattractive by default (save certain subsets..) so with so much considered “feminine” and so little “masculine” a man must fit a narrow scope if he seeks mass approval
Your two main options as a man are:
1. Change the social conception of gender by abandoning traditional ideas of masculinity and expressing yourself without concern to “normalcy” such as wearing makeup, wigs, flamboyant style choices, dresses and such…
2. Go lift weights and run or play basketball.
Of course that “men are bigger” gender role concept does mean that you are usually seen as more attractive as a man of you are taller, and there is nothing reasonable that can be done about that, but you can normalize things like men wearing high heels to give the impression of height and increase theoretical attractiveness at a glance to a mass public. As for your body type-