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famousone
· 4 years ago
· FIRST
I want this too
3
guest_
· 4 years ago
While its popular sentiment and passes an intuitive glance- I don’t know that relationships can be “50/50” let alone if they should. Hear me out.
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guest_
· 4 years ago
Firstly- how do we quantify what “50/50” even is? If you buy lunch and I buy dinner, is that “50/50”? But what if one costs more than the other? How do we assign values to unrelated things- I never forget your birthday, you always forget mine, but you also cook more often... how do we reconcile that? And that brings us to a very important point- the idea a relationship should be 50/50 implies that we are keeping score and assigning weight to everything- that seems wrong to me- not to mention what happens when something is a lot of effort for me, so I assign it a high weight, but it’s not something you consider really a big thing, and so you’d assign it a low weight? Do we have to horse trade and hammer out negations on what value doing that thing they like that you aren’t thrilled about doing is worth?
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guest_
· 4 years ago
I mean- how do we even gauge 50/50 if we ignore all the issues on assigning weight to things? Does the relationship need to be 50/50 every minute f the day? Can there NEVER be a single moment that you are giving more than you are receiving? That obviously seems silly. So then it must be some sort of aggregate or running tally over time. How much? At the end of the week or month or year- is that when we total up wether we feel they have as much as us? How do you even know? If we are together one year and I treat you like garbage and take and take- that’s not “50/50...” but how do you know I wasn’t going to treat you like royalty and give you everything next year?
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guest_
· 4 years ago
Does that pencil out? If they’re a complete trash person and selfish for 10 years- that’s cool so long as at the end of 10 years they switch that around and give you 10 years of perfection? That seems.... not right. Since you don’t know how long the relationship would last if you don’t end it- who plans the date they fall out of love?- you can’t say on total the relationship is 50/50, you can only choose a certain time period to examine.
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guest_
· 4 years ago
I think ultimately- in a relationship your needs should be fulfilled. You should feel appreciated and valued. You should be treated with human decency and care. You shouldn’t be subject to abuse. I don’t think relationships should be “50/50” nor can they really be, for all the reasons above and more. I think that some people also just have more to “offer” than others- different people are looking for different things. Love isn’t about “getting the best deal,” if you’re happy with what they give you, and not giving more than you are happy to give- you’re fine.
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xboxgorgo18
· 4 years ago
This is why smart people are the most depressed ones.