Yeah I dodged it to an extent, had a bruise on my thigh for a month. Wouldn't have mattered much anyhow since I'm not having anymore kiddos unless I adopt or find a *really* stable woman, I'm not riding the psycho train ever again lol, got way too many scars from the first one.
Ouch! I'm glad it was just a bruise. I obviously don't have kiddos but a relative that lives beside me has three, and for the past few months I've been going over there a lot since she works most of the time At first, her late born(a four-year old) was really petty; getting me injured and looking for trouble, but now he actually listens to me and is super kind. My army of world domination is almost complete(lol). Kiddos really can be a blessing and a handful. Makes me wonder how people with six kiddos are still alive lol. Do you plan to adopt a kiddo? I've personally ridden the psycho train before, I was born into one, in fact. I know it's an extremely suck-y experience. I'm really glad it didn't kill you. I do hope you find the woman of your dreams(that sounds like a line from a fairytale, I know, I know). I'm sad you went through that, but I'm glad you're still kicking :)
Since we're talking about kiddos, lemme tell you a recent funny story. So I went out with this relative and her kids. She got us snacks and had to make a stop to see someone. No kiddo is allowed to drink anything in her car but her second child(he's about 9) tried to be sneaky. A few minutes later I heard someone whispering ''Shh! Keep quiet'' several times. I turned back and realised that he was trying to get his bottle of soda to be silent while he was slowly trying to open it. When he noticed I caught him, he smacked the bottle and said ''Why didn't you keep quiet. I told you to keep quiet,'' and proceeded to act like nothing happened lol
On the adoption part, maybe when things get more stable for me. Most kids have difficulty with stealth and its always funny. My kid despite being badly neglected/abused as a baby (before the psycho was removed from the picture) has grown into a very kind and emphatic young man, he absolutely hates to see anyone in pain and will do his best to help them. Prime example, I got robbed/beaten at my job a couple weeks ago and was left with a cracked upper jaw and mild back injury, when I got home from the hospital my kid met me with my favorite drink (birch beer) and a couple ice packs. He spent the rest of that evening waiting on me hand a foot.
That's the best thing to do. And yes, it's always funny when they try to fool you and you have to play along until they ruin their own plans and try to hide that too. It's crazy he had to go through that. I know you don't want to talk about her so I'm not going to stir up a conversation there. She is a monster(my apologies is that was really mean but there is no "better" way to put it). I'm really glad your kiddo didn't become a mess in all that. And I'm glad he picked up just the good stuff. You both are a blessing to each other. I wasn't lucky enough to have a normal dad but my mom was always there for me till she passed 12 years ago.
Are you doing ok now? Have your injuries completely healed up yet? You make it sound like it's no big deal and it's already had me a bit scared. I'm glad he was there for you. That's the purest and most wholesome thing ever!! :)
I'm sorry I'm responding late. In short, life happened...again. My phone's been giving me issues. I can't wait till I get a new one next week.
Did your day go alright?
I'm still hurting, and had to have two teeth surgically removed (cracked the roots and abscessed) my back is nerve damage so likely gonna be painful for awhile. Yeah I have a few choice words for his 'mother' thankfully he was an infant at the time but did find the court papers and my notebook from the time and read it without me knowing. He accepted my explanation and it doesn't bother him to not have a mother, when he has me, his grandpa and aunt, uncle.
Ouch! Will you ever consider getting new ones when the pain is completely gone? And for your back, do you have to take painkillers?
It's just really insane. I'm glad your son is really understanding. It's good he did find out on time. When I had no idea what was going on while growing up, I felt...lost. Kids tend to understand things more than we thought they could. Growing up without a mom(especially a sane one) can difficult but he'll still going to get to where he needs to be in life. He's got you and his relatives and that's enough. Things can only get better.
My teeth are kind of bad anyhow due to a number of issues including grinding in my sleep and the such so I'm probably going to get artificial ones at some point. I have a very high pain tolerance so I really don't need to take any other than the odd over the counter or prescription ibuprofen. His 'mother' is likely going to jail in December as I just got a court summons about her being in contempt of support (between myself and her older son's father I'm sure she owes close to $15,000) she's in default over $6200 to my son. Frankly if she does get jailed I'd finally be able to sleep in peace, kind of hard to relax knowing the woman that abused and tried to kill you is walking the streets unsupervised, I'm just glad she can't drive (no license or car.)
I'm late, again. So sorry. I'm anticipating leaving 'home' soon, and the preparations take most of my time.
Oh. Artificial teeth may actually not be so bad. I grinded my teeth a lot when I was a kid. My mom told me if I didn't stop I'd be toothless like my grandma before I turn 15 lol. Do you know why you grind your teeth in your sleep? Really? I wish I had a high pain tolerance too. To be fair, I'm not sure what pain tolerance I have, in fact. It would be safer and loads better for both your son and you when she gets imprisoned.
Not sure why I grind could be nightmares or ptsd related. High pain tolerance is both a curse and a gift, I shattered my ring fingertip back in February and didn't realize it until I went to an urgent care center because it was still bleeding 14 hours later.
I didn't completely get the contempt of support part. Was she to pay child support, or is it based on the abuse? Was she ever married before you?
I can't wait till you can fully live. It's great she can't drive. Her on foot is horrible enough. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Your son is a blessing.
She was ordered to pay as I was given full custody. She lost custody partly due to abusing both of her children (one is mine and one from another father) and carving me up like a Christmas turkey with a knife which is where the ptsd likes to , certain kinds of very popular knives cause me to lose my mind. Nightmares are a daily thing most of the time.
I understand now. Huh some mother she was. Her actions will definitely come back to haunt her sooner or later. It's crazy how a person can cause that much damage and still be acting like they aren't the one at fault. About your ptsd, when something triggers it how does it make you feel(about the "lose my mind" part, do you mean it causes you to switch to fright, flight, and fight- not sure if I put that well)? And about her carving you up, that's freaking INSANE!!! They need to tie her hands together or something, before throwing her butt in prison. She's a walking nightmare! You're way stronger than I probably would've been if I went through that. You are CRAZYYY strong. Did she have her second kiddo after yours? I can only assume that sleeping or staying asleep till morning can be really difficult for you. Are your nightmares realistic? You've gone through A LOT. It can only get better. *hugs*
I can control my triggers to the point that I will visibly shudder now, but in the months after the incident I couldn't even look at anything serrated without going into a full panic, but to an extent I can stare down the barrel of a gun and not even sweat but a knife puts me on edge. My kid is the younger one. My nightmares are real enough I often end up in a sleep paralysis state, so I work nights and sleep days to help avoid those, even went so far as to install security cameras and alarms so that I can watch for trouble and protect my family. Still I hate the fact that even after 8.5 years I'm still badly tormented by my experiences, I've actually decided that having any romantic relationships is off the table for me, I just can't bring myself to take any risks of history repeating itself.
It's nice you were able to control it. Some people can't and it slowly eats them up. I'm glad that didn't happen to you. I had realistic nightmares when I left my dad. I was afraid of leaving the house for months. During the time you couldn't stand most knives, how did you cope, especially with cooking? And ok. I can relate to the sleep paralysis. It's awesome you were able to find a way around it because lack of sleep can make you all grumpy lol. Security is super important but don't let it make you extremely paranoid because that's even scarier.
You told your story like it happened last year. I can tell it's magnitude on you is massive. I'm surprised it's that long ago but I'm also happy you and your son made it this far. Keep going forward. And about your experiences, it may be that way now but at least it's not like it was a few years back. And that's good because it shows you're healing, slowly, but a little progress is better than none at all. I get what you mean about avoiding romantic relationships. When I started healing from my dad, I didn't want any guardians around me. It made me pull away from a lot of good people. It started spilling into my school life and the idea of dating appeared scary.
Does your decision ever make you feel lonely? It's been almost a decade and being a human being without a "special type of affection" can make you become a zombie. How do you cope with that? You've built a fortress to keep you safe but are you 101% happy? If you are, that's absolutely fine. You do you. I think it's a great idea that you're being cautious in order to avoid making the same mistake but know when it's too much. You're an awesome person :)
I'm a very happy introvert, so being alone doesn't bother me. I don't remember much of the first few months after I kicked the psycho out it was a total mess, I was running around getting a lawyer and protective orders I remember having several severe panic attacks, ending up in the hospital a couple times, eventually I started to tell myself 'it's not the knife that's dangerous it's the hands holding it' got on medication and therapy, not gonna lie though I still have major issues when *she* is around or any similarly shaped women with red hair. My ability to remember small details actually helped my custody case, between that and her going off about 'conspiracies against her' and having several witnesses to her craziness my lawyer said his presence was pointless, he actually gave me a third of his retainer fee back because he expected a battle not a circus. I still laugh when I read the transcript for the case...
Especially when I get to the point where the judge said 'Ms *** if you're not going to ask questions or conduct yourself in a proper manner be silent!' About ten minutes after that he gave me custody and *strongly* suggested a mental evaluation for my ex.
Alrighty. Kick her out? As in getting a divorce? And that most definitely is a terrible experience to go through. I had panic attacks too but whenever I heard a voice similar to my dad's, or see a similar haircut to his, and the smell of strong alcohol. Have your panic attacks ever given you a heart attack? It's crazy you had to go to the hospital that often; going once scares me enough. Were the side effects from the medication severe? Did therapy work too? For someone that's that mentally unstable, it's odd she even wanted custody. It's clear she needs SERIOUS help. And LOL! I'm surprised the judge was able to maintain seriousness. I would've laughed like crazy. It's funny how she got called out on her childishness. Clearly, a child can't raise a kid. What matters most of all is that you got custody. It's crazy she isn't in prison yet.
We weren't married although I had the funds for a wedding in a secret account, used that for the lawyer. I wrote her an eviction notice after the cops arrested her after the attack. I did actually have two minor heart attacks while we were together, from stress and hypertension caused by her.
Ok. Have you ever wondered how things would've been if she wasn't psycho and you both got married?
Oh. This is one of the few times I've heard of a person so abnormal that they're poison.
I have it could've been great, but that bridge has burned no point in trying to get milk out of a rock. Now I'm just giving my kid the best/ safest life I can.
Absolutely!! And you made the right decision overall. No point holding onto something that's not there anymore. If it left, you didn't need it. Both you and your son are still kicking and that's most important.
I remember when people wanted me to regret leaving my dad because I didn't have the money or influence he had; but I couldn't bring myself to run back to the mess I ran away from almost three years ago. I'd rather be by myself than under the same roof with a person who's mentally unstable.
It's crazy how much things and people change over time. Sometimes I still wish I had my mom with me, but I'm gonna survive nonetheless.
Are you doing ok now? Have your injuries completely healed up yet? You make it sound like it's no big deal and it's already had me a bit scared. I'm glad he was there for you. That's the purest and most wholesome thing ever!! :)
Did your day go alright?
It's just really insane. I'm glad your son is really understanding. It's good he did find out on time. When I had no idea what was going on while growing up, I felt...lost. Kids tend to understand things more than we thought they could. Growing up without a mom(especially a sane one) can difficult but he'll still going to get to where he needs to be in life. He's got you and his relatives and that's enough. Things can only get better.
Oh. Artificial teeth may actually not be so bad. I grinded my teeth a lot when I was a kid. My mom told me if I didn't stop I'd be toothless like my grandma before I turn 15 lol. Do you know why you grind your teeth in your sleep? Really? I wish I had a high pain tolerance too. To be fair, I'm not sure what pain tolerance I have, in fact. It would be safer and loads better for both your son and you when she gets imprisoned.
I can't wait till you can fully live. It's great she can't drive. Her on foot is horrible enough. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Your son is a blessing.
Pain tolerance's more of a blessing though. And OUCH! What did the doctors do about it?
Oh. This is one of the few times I've heard of a person so abnormal that they're poison.
I remember when people wanted me to regret leaving my dad because I didn't have the money or influence he had; but I couldn't bring myself to run back to the mess I ran away from almost three years ago. I'd rather be by myself than under the same roof with a person who's mentally unstable.
It's crazy how much things and people change over time. Sometimes I still wish I had my mom with me, but I'm gonna survive nonetheless.