But what happens when peoples’ families live in different countries? Then? Either way some loved ones will have to travel. I get that it all adds up, but either politely respond in a way similar to pokethebear, or be there for your friend/family member. They wanted to include you in a big moment in their life, ranting about it is petty, and shows you value that person less than the price tag.
I mean, it depends. Maybe it is a close family member who lives in the same place as them and it will be a real "thing" if they don't go. I can get why being basically forced to do something like that can feel frustrating
This is going to sound harsh- but destination weddings are often smart, IF the person having the wedding doesn’t actually expect or hold against people not going. It’s simple- weddings can be messes and cause bad feelings. You have a budget. Let’s say you can do 100 people. 50 of yours, 50 of his. With +1, that’s 25 each. Then you have the “Jill and Alex have 2 kids...” and so they count as 4. “If I invite my Uncle I have to invite his divorced wife, my aunt...” people get upset when they don’t get invited or made into the wedding party. Then there’s the whole “no kids” controversy if you go that route... and you’re paying food and seating etc for all these people and maybe you don’t want to invite this person or that one, or after weighing all the people in your life you make hard cuts- and then people end up feeling like they don’t mean anything to you because “after all these years and everything I do I can’t even get invited to your wedding...?” So....
Set a destination. Especially if you have family you know can’t or won’t travel. The Benton’s and their 5 kids? You don’t have to tell them they can’t bring the kids. Invite them all to farasfuck island. If they want to pay for 7 people to flag around the world, and everything else... they probably won’t. They might just decide on their own to get a sitter and go as a couple, or they may not go. If people don’t go you have a stalemate. They can’t be asshurt they didn’t get an invite. They can’t play the “If I meant anything to you then you would have found a way to make sure I could go!” Because you can also say “if you cared you would have found a way to be there!” So it’s no hurt feelings. It’s just- those who can go go, those who don’t dont. As long as everyone doesn’t get stuck on politics it can be a great way to cut a guest list to a size you can budget, and if you do the wedding the same place as the honeymoon you can minimize the costs of that too, and for many people it..
.. is a good excuse to legitimize a vacation they would want to take but wouldn’t. It sucks when there is someone you legitimately want to go, and they can’t. It also sucks for people who want to go to your wedding but can’t. But if you didn’t do a destination wedding they would t even get an invite, so at least they know you cared enough to invite them I suppose. In the end weddings are individual, in my opinion they are 100% about the bride and groom, and problems start when people make it about other things and relationship politics and all that.
I wished them well.