Ofcourse he can't buy "nothing"

A ticket to Alpha Centauri.

My dad, because he's dead

Nice to see Manti Te'o has an alt.

He can pay for a girl to date you and that would mean he'd have bought your girlfriend

Slaves

Gordon Ramsay's approval

Actually, he donates lots of money to charity. Since he receives nothing in return, one might say that he literally really is buying "nothing."