Mother of puns

Did you hear about the short fortune teller who escaped from jail?
Yeah, he's a small medium at large.

Say addicted after everything I say*
What do you call someone on drugs?
What do you call someone who drinks?
What hit you in the forehead last night?

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

Homestuck

I'm in a dead silent class! I'm not allowed to laugh!