Top ranked protective devices

Things like gates and locks are pretty much just there to kind of deture random people from breaking in, but yes they are not useful for people that have intentionally targeted you to rob or kill.

Why are knives on the list two times?

Blankets protect you from paranormal things.

Do you have a quilt or a quilted duvet? Quilting was actually first employed by Europeans as padded armor used for example during the Medieval Period (gamebsons, aketons etc) and although it was usually worn under chainmail or plate as padding it was also be worn on it's own. That's right, you've got medieval armor on your bed and that's why when you hear a noise at night you instinctively pull it up over your head.

But with our dogs we can tell the difference between their "GET THE HELL OUT HERE THERE IS SOMETHING GENUINELY CONCERNING OUT HERE!" bark and their "HOLY CRAP IT'S A LEAF YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!" bark. But you still can't top blankets.

Knives are mentioned twice

Two knives

I can tell the differences between my rottweilers "much noice, such nothing, very bark.. wOw.." barking and "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON MY TERRETORY AT 4 AM, I WILL EAT YOU!".. Best protection ever!

You said knives twice

You forgot condoms