Man, now the rhino/goat thing is burned into my head.
I didn't ask for this.

Hang on, moving to Canada.

I want to know what this girl thinks "Popular and pretty" are.

I'm cheating on my computer with my smartphone.
I hope she doesn't find out.

Happened to me once. Fell straight into Wonderland.

I get pretty tired of holding things for women because my pockets are huge.
Pocket Equality for everyone.

At least it was memorable.

I tried this one year.
Poor Jesus didn't make it.
I love cheese too much.

"Aggressive snakes may bite at your ankles."

Sweet, my kid could be a lion tamer.
This might be worth it.

Man, this is the most accurate thing I have ever read.

I can't even imagine the shower I'd have to take if I filled all my pores with bacon grease.

"Hey look, a fish condom!"
"Nope, just another jellyfish."

I had no idea they were called "Utahns".
Learn something new every day.

Santa needs to get his alcoholism under control.

Now that I have a daughter, I love this picture even more.

My wife would do exactly this.

Remember kids, if you see rainbows, you need to stop taking drugs.

I don't like my smile in this one. Can we take it again?

I had a bit of a panic attack when it happened.