"Juan bought forty pineapples. If Juan eats one pineapple every forty-five minutes, how long will it take Juan to die from eating too many pineapples?"

Have fun in jail.
That's what you get for saying naughty words.

Well, I'm already married with kids.
That leaves millionaire or dead.
I am willing to take this chance.

"I don't want to ride in a hot air balloon. We could die!"
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

It takes some practice to get great at parking a train, but hey.
Once you learn how, you never forget.

Yer a wizard, science teacher.

It was a good year.
I was one.

Do I want one?
.......maybe.

Damn, not enough Ice Cubes for my Ice-T.

They can't arrest us all, guys.

"Sir, there's a piece of lettuce in your whiskey."
"IT'S A SALAD."

I wonder if he ever learned the exact function of a rubber duck.

Twenty years later, we have Windows 8, which might be worse than Windows 95.

This is damn near impossible for me to read.
Why is all the text so choppy?

That's a winner's mentality.
She's gonna go far. About two stories down, I'd guess.

It's a battle you can't win.
You can't box with God.

"What are you gonna do, space arrest me?"

I haven't had jury duty yet either, but I am incredibly excited for the day I am.
For these exact reasons.

The dedication some people have is very inspiring.

I really need that hat.
I always find myself carrying around bunches of bananas with nowhere to put them.

Looks like it's time for another episode of, "Things I Can't Do".

This is beautiful.
I also need to start sinning way more so I'm safer when I die.

Did Voldemort wear underwear?
He seemed like a bit of a free-baller.

See, the Star Wars dialogue could have been WAY better.