I published my first novel this year.

Whenever I eat, it sort of goes like this.

Ew, children grinding.

If you can direct a topic about fish into getting yourself a date, you are a talented individual.

FunSubstance needs to take a roadtrip to this place.

They tried to get out.
They got hit with a door.

Real life interaction!
I don't believe that's a real thing anymore.

I have this exact problem with my daughter, and I don't know how I didn't think of this.

Nobody jingles harder than I do.

OH DEAR GOD.

I don't even know how to verbally explain how sad this makes me.

Gotta get your dairy somehow.

That dude put a rug on and called it good.

He's even missing an ear.
This is so realistic.

Yeah, you'll say it's clever but you'll still count it wrong.
I see you, teacher. I see you.

Whew, can I get a "Jinkies"?

One of my big goals is to be famous enough one day to have my own action figure.

I suggest painkillers to start.

Hire me. I am one hundred percent into this idea.

Things like this are why I wish I could explore the world.

This entire situation is a meth.

Paws off the table, sir.

Thank you, brain. I really appreciate it.