I know right he blends in so well

Sam Claflin edition?

No no no I'm saying that if I had a male doctor how would that make me gay?

I didn't need it anyway

(3)
I say to myself as I wash my hands.
5
Calm down.
4
What's going to happen?
3
What's he going to look like?
2
Will he be in the same fandoms as I?
1
Just as my timer buzzes at 0 the door to the bathroom opens with a creak, and in lumbers my Great Dane. "Fuck" I whisper.

(2)
I write my last word, and with still shaky hands I close my notebook. Waiting, I reach towards my water and enjoy the coolness as it runs down my throat. I run my fingers through my hair and glance at my wrist.
0000 d 00 h 03 m 04 s
This is it. This is the moment I've been waiting for. I steadily stand up from the comforts of my recliner any moment now. God damnit I thought. I probally look hideous. I run as fast as my legs will carry me to the bathroom and grab my hairbrush. I quickly brush out all the knots and tangles then, I wash my face off and study myself in the mirror. At least I look somewhat descent. In my reflection I see
0000 d 00 h 00 m 42 s on my wrist. All of the sudden the shock and the realality of it all hits me, I'm about to meet the person that I will fall in love with and spend the rest of my life with. Right now all I can think about is... How much I need to go pee? In one stride I go to the toilet and do my business. "Now is the time"

I flip to a blank page in my notebook, the supposed to be straight lines swim in my vision. I slowly reach towards my favorite pen, the purple one. My hand shakes as I carefully place my pen on my paper. Ugh, what to write what to write? I thought in my head as I put
0000 d 00 h 08 m 07 s at the top of the page, and I begin to write...
I never would have imagined this happening to me. I always thought I would end up like the people who's timers just count down and count down endlessly, the people who never end up with anyone. Today is the day, today is the day. Wait, what kind of soulmate is going to be at my house at 6:39 on a Wednesday night? Maybe his timer will count down just as he passes my house and he'll knock on my door look into my eyes and say "I only have 3 seconds left so I figured it must be you". Then we will fall in love and be well, soulmates. I knew this day would come I'm just not sure I'm ready yet.
(1)

Hey, you should come over for tea Tuesday and tea Thursday!!!! And tea Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday!!!!!!!

I read that in cats voice omg @lemmeliveinbooks not deadpool

I'm not deadpool but if I may, I think that morbidly obese people and severely anorexic people have an exception. Although, you should help an obese or anorexic person because they most likely need help. Making someone feel terrible about themselves is NEVER ok, it is ok to not like someone's physical appearance just don't put them down or judge them.

That's how we do things in Michigan