Make sure you lubricate before shoving it up your ass

Dicks........they come with faces now.

I don't know if it's being antisocial but......sometimes when my friends ask me if I want to go somewhere with them I make up an excuse because I had dreamed of staying on the couch all day.

Bless this man for hitting Justin Bieber

when you murder someone and your roommate doesn't hear the screams

spongebob and that clown looked a little too happy

"I bought you butterflies"

thirsty bitches these days....

when your toaster asks about girl parts

this makes a lot of sense

ha, might as well jump now

the "you're going to get raped" hug

I like how in the background basically none of the fire fighters are doing anything

I'M too poor to afford steak

It looks like a he's playing a floppy pancake with a nipple lol

Now you can see the ball waving his son goodbye as it goes on to be a soccer ball for the rest of its days

I got a dolla if you want it for christmas

Aw.....I really wanted to eat the box

*calls life alert* Yes um....santa has fallen and.....um...he can't get up....from a river