CarbonTech

carbontech


Here to cast pearls of wisdom and BS in equal measure. Am I too late?

— CarbonTech Report User
Dads are the best 3 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Important rule being shown here. If you're unfortunate enough to end up with with an arrow, spear, knife or other foreign object stuck in a newly formed hole in your body-LEAVE IT IN! It may be the ONLY thing keeping you from bleeding out before you receive proper medical attention.
Also, don't volunteer to hold the archery target for your son.(see above)
3 · Edited 4 years ago
Rare photo of someone smiling in the 19th century, 1894, Oklahoma 8 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Rare, for a number of reasons. Smiling wasn't an instinctive response to a photo being taken, the way it now. That only started becoming common in the 1930's.Then there's the dental care of the period-lots of missing or bad teeth and finally, the longer exposures made holding a natural looking smile somewhat problematic. Glad she didn't know these reasons, lol, she looks great.
9 · Edited 4 years ago
Dark humour, hopefully it's allowed 4 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
My uncle was 7, when one of those removed him, for picking up fallen coal from the side of the railway tracks. My 15 year old mother helped retrieve his bullet riddled body. He became part of the 1.8 to 2.8 million, non-Jewish Poles who died during the Nazi occupation. They in turn joined the 3-4 million Jewish victims. All told, Poland lost over 6 million people, about 1/5 of their pre-war population. Maybe stick to atrocities, a few generations further back, to use as a setup for a cheap and thoughtless pun.
https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/polish-victims
3 · Edited 4 years ago
Drives on sidewalk. Hits cyclist. Speeds away 2 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Rule #1. Cars should not drive on sidewalks.
Rule #2. Bicycle tires should not be used to try to enforce Rule #1.
2
The glory days 2 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." - The Joker
1
Found this cute little guy in my driveway 9 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
So it was an assault. I hope he sought damages.
2
I felt like I was being watched 2 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Kinda like the view from the foot of Mount Olympus, but with real gods.
1
‘Demolition Man’ was actually a documentary 9 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
And yet, back in March, when we needed them the most, the 3 seashells were nowhere to be seen.
2
I’ll ***in’ do it again! 2 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Nibbles is not a fan of extra fiber organic amaranth flakes and refuses to pretend he is. Word to the wise-don't try to change his mind, he's VERY opinionated!
How to make friends and influence peeps 2 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
This only works about 1/2 the time...so I've been told.
2
I heard that Covid-19 testing in the nose can be very uncomfortable, but this must be a 7 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
"Hey Doc, quick question. If both your hands are on my shoulders, how are you manipulating the probe?" (Old punchline, repurposed.)
4
Enough of the marinara! 1 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
You can breathe a sigh of relief, you're in no danger of interlopers leaving unsolicited Prego under your pillow, it's just a prank poster.
With social media taking over the world, physical ads are slowly becoming a relic of the past. Two online entertainers, Alan Wagner and Sydney Marquez, decided to take the opportunity to transform the fading trend into funny posters for every kind of business. This is but one of their efforts. You can find more by searching for, "funny-fake-posters-ads-alan-wagner"
1 · Edited 4 years ago
What are you planning nutsacktorturer 7 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Cop, incredulously, at the ER, "...and this didn't raise any red flags?!?"
4
Found this cute little guy in my driveway 9 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Kinky, but what consenting adults and newts do in the privacy of their gardens is no business of ours.
2
British humor is always fun 1 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Tomfoolery, let alone rampant shenanigans, will not be countenanced by the Crown. Time for a good old public stocking, lads.
Yes please! 2 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
I wonder if Axe Body Spray has heard of this? It would finally live up to all those old commercials, depicting hordes of ardent women, enthusiastically chasing after a young optimist reeking of Axe.
6
it's funny but plz, do yourself a favour and dont watch it while eating 3 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
"I blurred it's face to protect its identity.", had me laughing hard.
2
Helps get rid of any dust 9 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
There's a guy on YouTube whose channel is nothing but him destroying brand new, fresh out of the package, iPhones, PlayStations, Xboxes and the like. I stumbled upon him while looking for a video on dry ice. He threw some dry ice in a pool and then added some brand new PS4s, including a Silver? edition. The outrage in the comments was exactly like here, times a thousand, and I'll say what I said there. It's a boring premise, after you've seen a few items get trashed, but hey, if he's making enough money to cover his overhead, so be it. He's not hurting anyone and the calculated outrage fuels his algorithms. It's a successful business model-he's spending HIS money to make MORE money.
· Edited 4 years ago
BabyBoomer 3 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
It is a lot, statistically. Out of 231 countries listed, only 40 show an average of 4 or more children per family. The US average is 2.09 while Canada is at 1.59.
https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/People/Total-fertility-rate
2 · Edited 4 years ago
Brian control 3 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
He's obviously brian damaged.
2
Not for Vegans, Trump Fans or anyone else fainthearted 3 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
"FAKE SINEWS!!!", cried the meathead.
11 · Edited 4 years ago
Make sure you can live with the way they load the dishwasher before you marry them 9 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
The answer to the OP's warning is to not let your partner load the dishwasher. Problem solved.
The answer to your query is that reusable plastic containers get dirty too. If they're dishwasher safe, they can safely ride the top rack. I know this because I never let my wife load the dishwasher, lol.
1
This should be regulated 2 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Still waiting for them to take sirens out of rap music. Been fooled too many times while driving and it's even worse when the dog's at the wheel.
1
This apocalypse is so lame 3 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Lame perhaps, but sure looks like there's a lot less chafing.
1
The dark side of the moon, probably 4 comments
carbontech · 4 years ago
Fun fact: Even though, due to tidal locking, the moon shows only one hemisphere to observers on Earth, a phenomenon known as lunar liberation allows us to see about 59% of its surface over time.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libration?wprov=sfla1
· Edited 4 years ago