I was barked at by a bird once, and then the morphine kicked in.

My lens are already artificial, sign me up!

On one hand - wild animal, could kill me. On the other hand - wook at those wittle toes!

When my GRANDMOTHER died, we drove two and a half hours (one way) to tell my brother in person, there is no way I could text someone such news and I've been called a pretty mean bitch at times.

Toasted marshmallows of unholy origin!

I was born in 1993, so this gets funnier every time I see it. XD

I hear if you manage to do that perfectly three times in a row the magnificent flag of Great Britain appears on your trousers.

You're going to need a larger roasting pan, I think.

I'm admiring her eyes while I can, before her untimely demise.

This is great. Obviously, we need to give more people more painkillers. For science.

I just really want to rub her ears and/or kidnap her.

She may get a lot of new girl friends, though...